Let's just make it to 25..: stuff

stuff

Showing posts with label stuff. Show all posts

I've neglected a little piece of you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm NOT sorry.

I think this says it best:

imgur.com

Because while i have been neglecting here i've been doting over there and dabbling a bit more over thither and yada yada...

Yoda truck illustration
1/2 marathon registration
vipassana retreat registration
somewhat impromptu trip to Florida..?
porshce fund
ukulele
white ink tattoo(s)...?

tons of money suckers... time suckers... life enriching activities coming up... lots to do lots to see!

ain't nobody got time for your whining...

i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore.

Good morning, I love you!

Great advice from a friend yesterday.

I need to revisit The Art of War. Because sometimes you don't want to make friends, you want to get into an advantageous position to keep them from hurting you and move on. But it matters how you step on them and Sun Tzu will teach me the ways to get to the higher ground for better vantage. The world probably looks WAY better from up there.

It's a little funny because I want to study this so that I may find peace in a non-confrontational manner.

I have an itch and sadly i must not scratch it. at least yet.

But when I get to, I will remember this article. And remember to still say "wow."

I totally just made up that word. I hate flalads. Flat salads.

You know what i'm talking about. You go to a nice restaurant and you order a starter salad. Out comes this massive plate and it's got like ONE LAYER OF MIXED GREENS laying flat on the plate in a GORGEOUS display of completely non-forkable fiber. ARLKAJ;ELRJAW;OEUIRASDF

Pinterest is guilty as well though slightly less offensive because I don't have to somehow scrape them off the plate and figure out how to chew a leaf in the singular.

But they make me SO angry!! i'm all about the GIANT BOWLS. i want it PILED HIGH! all the toppings and fix-ins i want it bulky dammit!! a skinny leaf laying thinly on a plate will not make me skinny or thin. none of that transfers. so load it up you salad-nazis!!

I WANTS ITTTTTT~~

I NEEEDS IT!!!!

yeah ok my photoshop skillz need something too... maybe a giant SALAD would help!

see how super skinny gollum looks? see that giant bowl of salad he's holding? i think there might be a connection here. maybe.

i dunno.

i could be wrong.

i used paint on the photo.

don't judge me.

Who doesn't sing this song during at least one dismal time in their life?

Well for me it seems to be the recurring soundtrack for every aspect and time in my life. Woes. and more woes. I can't say I can be bothered with it to really be sad or upset about it but i certainly feel constraints that are uncomfortable very very often. i'm not starving, i'm not cold and miserable (well i am cold and miserable but that is because i work in an office with people who have no sense of feeling and think that air conditioning must bring the office to winter temperatures at all times), i have clothes, and my basic necessities are met. Please be aware, that i am aware, and there is just lots of awareness all around, that my "woes" are not that serious.

but you know what IS serious??

my loans.

My very large loans.

Soooooo many loans.

WHO GAVE ME THIS MUCH MONEY!?

seriously. it's serious.

my new goal is to budget for real.

FER reals.

i'm like everyone. I budget all the time....

"budget" you know?

like-

"i can't spend so much money on eating out" (-$0)
"except for today because i promised so-and-so i'd meet up with them since 2 weeks ago" (-$30)
"but i'm SOOOOO hungry and there's nothing in the house" (-$20)
"i bet my mom would really like this, plus we said we'd try it forever ago.." (-$25)
"and then..." (-$15)
"and then..." (-$25)
"and theeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnn" (-$5)

NO AND THEN!!

NO AND THEN NO AND THEN!

NO MORE!

like kutcher, I went to the bank and was all "oh i'd like that please" and "yes, i'll take some of this too if i could"- what a dumb shit. meanwhile the bank is like "and then?..... and then?..... and thennnnnnnn?" start at 1:21 and this is how i feel when the bills just keep coming and coming at me with no end in sight gahhhhh!!!! well, still a dumb shit but at least i'm not ordering any more fortune cookies.

so yeah. Budget.

how'm i gonna do all of this awesomizing you ask?

WELL.........................

I've got this handy dandy app called Mint now!

i feel like one of those "I've changed. I walk with Jesus now" people

it's the handiest thing i've had in a VERY long time.
i can't tell you everything about it except that it is ridiculously easy (though i'm working through a few quirks it has) and the best thing is that i can see all of the money in my life in one go.

ALL OF THE RED THAT IS~!! (from my loans... you know...)

but you can set goals and BUDGET and blahty blahty blah which is just starting to be offered by one of my banks and sucks at my other banks. Mint is easy to use and easy on the eyes... look at that cool mint green.... tehehehe.

no really, let's look at the sexy cool mint green logo one more time..

anyhow, that's what's up. with Mint in hand, and a mint mojito in my other hand (homemade of course with free ice, and free mint, and some serious bargain booze to fit inside my crisp new budget), i'm gonna be debt free in 38 years!!!!!!

i will drink to that! NOMS
indeed this lovely photo from http://lovelyindeed.com/

you scoff at my 38 years but that is fantasmic compared to the 46... because that's how long it would take me to get rid of my debt otherwise... or some OTHER ridiculous number close to half a century... aka the rest of my active life.

But really though, it's less about the debt and more about how to maneuver a very fulfilling life without the unnecessary money leaks that seem to sprout up. everywhere. all. the. time.

So that's what i'm doin. Keeping myself in check.
and i think it's kind of working...

for a VERY minimal cost i've got:

1 gallon blueberry wine fermenting with frozen blueberries that were being wasted just sitting in the freezer.
($7) for gallon jug, airlock, yeast

1 gallon peach wine with this season's picked peaches brought to me by a dear friend
($6) for another gallon jug, siphon hose

2 gallons kombucha brewing with left over tea from my business
($3) for bottle of kombucha for starter SCOBY that i grew myself - for perspective, it costs anywhere between $11.99 from culturesforhealth.com to $24.88 from kombuchakamp.com or $26.97 on sale from $31.91 at getkombucha.com. One $3 bottle of brewed kombucha and two weeks of waiting later, i had a super rich and healthy SCOBY ready to mass produce some delish Booch.

1 gallon worth of kombucha bottled in assorted recycled glass bottles with various fruits grown by me and by local farmers, fermenting a second time to make it all a fizzy fruity bottle of probiotic goodness.
($0)

a wood box shelf in my room for extra storage
($0) pilfered from the side of a local restaurant in a pile for garbage

more wood to make shelving for storage around the house
($0) broken down pallets acquired for freeness from various places around town

solid wood two drawer night stand to be refurb-ed
($13) $8 for the night stand, $3 for half a gallon of oops paint from home depot, and $2 for the trim i'm going to use to jazz up the drawers.

what else what else what else?

What i figure is this.

the plan of action must be:

keep my head down,
keep my projects going,
keep being the recluse that i'm famous for being sometimes,
keep saying no to invitations out for beers and for this and for that and for what-have-yous all over town, and
keep my money on a tight leash with a pinch collar.

because my motorcycle isn't gonna just buy itself and come home to me :P

i killed them all :(

look how happy he looks!!

but no. my worms are not like this happy squiggler. I KILLED THEM!!!!!

more accurately, the accursed Apollo killed them. They got too hot. DAMN YOU APOLLO!! but who am i kidding? the blame lies equally with me- i aided the creation of the inescapable, unyielding inferno that my little worm babies were fried in till their dying breaths.....

how do i even live with myself?!

apparently i was doing it wrong anyway. too much poop to not enough worm ratio.

....BUT A POUND OF WORMS!!

but too much poop.

but so many worms!!!!

but still too much poop.

i underestimated the poopiness of my beloved number 1's poop. thank god i didn't try anything with number 2's!! evilocity plus poop toxicity can only equal zombified worms that can probably open the lid of their own worm bin. before coming into the house to eat our brainzzzzzzzzzzz

"braaaainnnnzzzzzz"

the fact of the matter is i need to step up my game.

and step up i shall.

worm bin round 2 will be on its way shortly. plan of action? slow and steady will win this race. hopefully only ONE more batch of worms will be needed... with some sage advice from some serious veteran composters and a resolve to brave the nefarious odors of number 1's very special waste I head back into the darkness.

as for the worms in bin 1:

I'M SO SORRY!!! SOOO SOOO SORRY!!!

Remember that time when there was an abundance of poop?
no?

that's because it's ALWAYS and it is NOW.

never quite in the past tense while this guy's around

Well whatever. My vermicompost bin has been set up for a couple of days now and the poop-that-is-worm-food has been added as well as a cushy home for the new tenants.

I've never BEEN more excited about poop and worms. it's a little bit disturbing but bear with me here.

The bin is all set.

the home is prepared.

when will my super hard workers be coming?

according to USPS:

MONDAY!

that's right people~ my worms are going to be here on monday! a POUND of worms. a pound of RED worms. a pound of red WIGGLER worms! I'm beside myself. BESIDE myself.

if this all goes according to plan then for $40 I will be recycling a never ENDING supply of dog poop and reusing the worm poop that is worth more than gold (to gardeners of course). And the worms will just keep breeding. and breeding. and laying little cocoons!

The way I figure once I get some cocoons, I'll just toss them into my garden compost bin and let magic happen. Please let some magic happen!!

Because my veggie compost bin REEKS!

seriously.

reeks.

"how can you say that about kitchen scraps when you're so excited about poop. surely poop smells worse!" you're thinking....

shut up. you don't know what you're saying!

I actually prefer to open up my box of poop to opening up my bucket of food and hay. It will get better- it will. but i'm hoping to baby jesus that a handful of red wigglers and maybe some cocoons tossed in the garbage bin will help the process go by faster.

>>>UPDATE (aug 19, 2013): i just checked my bin yesterday and after aerating and twirling all the nasty rotty stuff around I am happy to report.... IT'S HEALTHY!! AND HAPPY!! AND OH GOODNESS THE REEK IS GONE THE REEK IS GONE! I'll still be throwing in some red wiggler cocoons when they arrive. hollaaaaaa~

Another bit of news... I'm happy to report my new cat that I finally got (knowing full well of their evilocity of course) is getting along famously with Mori..... ish. there is still a little bit of cat/dog sentiments that come out once in a while but that has more to do with the fact that as a tiny little critter the cat gets under the super energetic and strong massive paws of the dog and then there's cat's panic of life almost having ended and dog's thoughts of "is this going to be a chase game!? yaaaayyyy!!"

I do catch them snuggling and snuffling and playing with the same toys and whatnot but it will probably still be some time before the cat will want to sit on Mori's head like i want him to. and then it will be a skip and hop away from.....

THE CIRCUS!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!

Did i mention the cat's name? I gave my brother the honor of naming the kitteh and the decision landed on Memento. So now we have a Memento and a Mori roaming around the house but more intimately they are known as Memmie and Mo.

Memmie loves to watch movies with me and sleep like a nerd.

sleep ovah heeeere

sleep ovah theeeeere

watch a little teeeeveeeeeee

ALSO new- my wine making endeavors. Trial 1 = blueberry wine wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

So far so good. Four days into the yeasting process it smells decidedly boozey. and soon when it's ready i'll drink and be a shameless floozey. cuz i'm not choozey. when it comes to wine- that's a dooooooozey.

see what i did there?
did you?

you did?
yeah you did.

seriously. it's happening.

What else is going on...... {tap chin} hmmmmmmmmm...

I tink i tink dat's all folks! Now i just wait for my worms to get here, then i'm also going to make some Mead and then i'm also planning a little welcome home party for my faaaavorite mom :P

Last time i was jazzed about kombucha i made a big batch that turned out pretty decent and saved my alien SCOBY from my efforts. recently i was cleaning out my fridge and threw my baby away. why? because i just didn't feel like it was still very healthy and happy. so back to the drawing board.

New SCOBYs are on their way as i test between a tea mixture of both black and green tea as well as a straight black tea; home brewed kombucha from a farmer's market and a store bought bottle. in a week's time they should be half formed.

or maybe only one will be.

maybe neither will survive....

who knows?

it's exciting either way because i'm soon going to be on my way for some home brewed Sooch Booch :)

see with i did there?

huh??
huuh?

:P

So.................

cats.

Cats are.. evil.

like this ugly turd eater.

that is beyond a doubt. Cats are the Cain to dogs' Abel. And as the bible story goes cats will always be the one to commit the murder and dogs will always be the ones to go. why? because dogs are loyal and sweet and stupid to a loving fault. and God loves dogs more. WHAT!? it says so! God totally loved Abel more. check it. take your wares and sacrifices elsewhere Cain. Cat.

don't get me wrong, cats can look sweet and loving too. I guess..

just look at that sweetness and lovingness all squeezed into a sink... WTF?

but don't be fooled. because you'd be an idiot to think those shining eyeballs are radiating love.

at you.

they're definitely radiating love.

but it's more like the

hunger

kind of love.

for your face.

oh how quickly these guys change:

from a little guy like "oooo pet me, love me i'm sooooper soffff"

pet pet pet pet wheeeeeeee!! so cute!

To:

BRING ME YOUR FACE!

OOOHHH MOTHER FUCKERSSSSSS

and if you only check headlines of articles and only skim through the rest of it - as i do - and believe everything posted online as being truth- as you should - then you'll know that cats only refrain from killing us because something about opposable thumbs.

That is all.

I think i'll bring one home.

and he will look like so.

somebody else hates cats too~ teehehe

as payback to all of the other cats out there.

~ love, Jangles

I speak American every single day. More so than most because I speak excessively about everything and mostly anything of no import. Some days though, i start to feel like a fraud. As i'm speaking and communicating in the language so many people understand I start feeling like an impostor. Like i don't belong in this mindset but i've somehow learned the phrases and the slang and know the appropriate times to insert which in order to make the audience feel like they understand. But they don't because what i'm thinking isn't being expressed as it is thought, it is being expressed in the way it is easiest digestible to the listener.

So Canada.

or Canadia as i like to say...

sounds more like a country that way.

A trip to come soon I think.

I think a trip will come soon.

I think I want to take a trip soon.

to.

Summerland!

you just know whoever thought of the name was a jolly good person.

a jolly-er.

jolly-izing everyone in its path.

seriously.

Google that shit.

SUMMERLAND I MEAN.

no, forget it....

*whisper* {I already did it for you}

BAM!

yes i'll take one of these, k thanks

And because I think i can roll both ways:

and yes i'll take one of these too...

JOLLY knew what's up...

but enough talk about Jolly's unhealthy arousal for underaged californians.

something..

something something.

something about Canadia.

........

oh yes.

File:Summerland sign (British Columbia).JPG

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! leetle houses!

At only 6 hours away it's an embarrassment that I've yet to visit and yet here i sit.

a fucking embarrassment.

Who are these brothers and sisters of mine?!
Who?!
do they look the same as me?
do they eat the same things?

GAHHH!
FUCKING GLOBALIZATION i can't even asks these questions anymore.
ARRGGGG.
a;weruiopawuefl;asjkf;sdkljfa
asl;dkfjqwuer
awkeryh;oiajdf;asdl;awjdf
/tantrum

I'll go there to this magical place named by Jolly who probably molested super tan, highly serious, californian teeny boppers. And drink some wine baby.

woop woop!

VEEEEEEEEEEENOOOOOO and BEEEEERRRRR!!

cannot wait.
i've been waiting so long to go and finally!
it'll be..

it'll be like...

clearly i'm on some kind of Akon kick...

My mom left me forever.

FOREVER!

I'm on a high right now... i know- different end of the spectrum from my last post but this should not surprise anyone. The latest and greatest and not-all-that-new-but-still-kinda-new thing in my life is gardening!!

Remember last year when it was gonna be AMAZEBALLS??

So many plans, so many seeds, so much watering!! gaaahhhhh!!

and then.

remember last year when it was a total fail?

THIS year i'm workin it (yeah yeah it's a little late in the year), makin it, doin it (the gardening you creep heh heh), and it's makin me harder, better, fa- wait wait i'm getting this wrong.

TAKE 2:

THIS year i'm workin it harder ripping up that NASTY grass!

makin it soooo much better!

and better...

K, i dunno about doin it faster though... there's only so much my back and shoulders can handle.
But for sure it's making me stronger :)

I have a different focus this year. Instead of creating new life, I'm working on cultivating the lives I've already got. Like the tree pictured above. last year it was just an awkward looking treeling with two skinny long arms. this year, after an entire spring of branching and filling out and getting dressed, a whole galaxy of aphids came and stunted so much of the new growth. I didn't know what was ailing it and at that particular time i didn't really care to notice due to my whole not caring to notice much of anything. The other thing killing this tree was complete dehydration- not because i was withholding water mind you! but the tree was planted on a complete slope and none of the water would stay anywhere near the tree... hence: STONE WALL! hour after hour i kept stacking the damn rocks trying to make them stay... and then finally i've got a teeny little dam to keep my tree drunk with water to grow and be merry. the flowers underneath are gardners' strategy that i'm slowly picking up on to attract predators of the aphids that will mosey on over to the foliage and then stumble on a feast of the little aphid bastards to eat away at! HA!

what else this year? a little ways away from my tree i ripped up even MORE grass and built what will be my herb garden next year. I'll be finishing my patio table today- i'll be posting about that soon. I want to build some kind of shade pergola over the patio but that's something i still have to work out...planning on cutting down the plum tree this fall so the nectarine tree can flourish- they're starting to choke each other out now {sad}. I'll have to fix my raised beds once the season ends because we've already got tomatoes, zucchini, and cucumbers growing in them now. and lastly- maybe most ambitiously- i want to build my green closet. somewhere to grow plumeria and a lemon tree...this project is particularly tricky because adequate lighting is essential and location may be a difficult thing in my yard... no matter. I will make it work. Did i say i've started composting? I've started composting. and learning about feeding my plants. i'm going to have amazing compost in about 3-4 weeks, i'm also going to make some Worm Cafe's for them to come compost around the yard for me, and COFFEE!! who knew coffee could be so amazing for the yard? i've been asprinklin' and asprinklin' some more. everywhere. because my office produces CRAZY amounts of coffee grounds and that means i have an unending supply of food for my garden. stay tuned.....

It was a little over two years ago when I was going through my very very bad time with the thinking and the depression and the unexplained anger and the disappointment with the universe around me. I would be on stumbleupon for hours at a time. I literally watched three to four movies a night. No classes. no nothing. lived off of a soup and a roll. maybe bathed once every other day. But I can't verify any of that because those days, weeks, month, MONTHS all blur together into a flurry of WSJ, stumbleupon, movies, sleep, pinterest, NYtimes, emails, food, facebook, stumbleupon, movies, sleep, stumbleupon, movies, and then some.

That was very much so a downward spiral if I have ever been in one. I think I smelled. is that the right verbiage? i was smelly. yeah...........

For about a week near the tail end of that miserable time, I had the mindset of "you silly bitch it's time to get out of this smelly rotting hole of nothingness" but not the energy or the imagination to think of how to do it. When i am fully with myself there is not a situation i can't think of a way to make better, but when i'm struggling you've never seen a more defeatist attitude than mine. It's childish I know... and i work on it every time i come out of a phase of struggle so that next time it takes less and less life out of me to get over myself. What finally got me out of that particular instance was a picture i "stumbled upon" hehe :)

It said: "wake up every morning with the thought that something awesome is about to happen."

I know. I scoff at those ridiculous "inspiration" quote pictures too. Suddenly every beautiful landscape photo needs to be plastered with some pithy saying or heart melting observation in obscure fontage. But I gotta say... if for every million of those that are passed over just one of them affects someone else as much as that single image did me two years ago... maybe those instagramming/quote hording/reposting whores are doing it right!

In all seriousness though, one day I stumbled on that picture at 5 in the morning after a night of watching a series of animated films and thought to myself "I could do that. I could wake up and believe that something awesome will happen that day." So I did. Right after I slept the rest of that particular day away. The next morning, I woke up, dressed up, and showed up to life and found myself searching every street corner, every stranger's face, every building entrance for a sign of this potential "awesome" that would be showing up that day. And I did that for weeks. And it worked.

At least for a while. In the two years i've had several more ups and downs. My most recent one still in the process of fading its fat ass out of my life. This time around I was very affected by two quotes:

"Don't save things for a special occasion. Today is special enough."
"No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up."

They go hand in hand in the context of how they affect me at this moment in time which is one of indifference to my physical appearance owing to my prolonged phase of indifference to life. I have all these clothes that I keep stored away and never wear because i'm not physically where i want to be to wear them. Then i've got all this jewelry that i don't put on because they're too flashy for everyday wear. Then i've got all these heels i never wear because they're too whatever. and these bags i don't use because.. etc. etc. etc. and then there go my twenties. And in my thirties all of these things will be too "young" for me or too "cheap" for me or blahty blah blah blah. You know where I'm going with this. On top of all of that settling for mediocrity despite the very available "something specials" i've got all over my room, i also have been slacking on life as i've stated numerous times this post. So. Combine the two quotes and these next few however-long-i-can-keep-it-going weeks or months will see me dressing in all of the things i want to wear. and most importantly, showing up to life. And it'll be great. I know it will because right now the soundtrack to SooJangles' life is:

Dan Mangan's "Robots"

And because robots need love too.

I guess my post on Ireland was very.... um completely useless.

Today is a day to check in with myself, methinks. And by check in, I mean do a thorough mental stability assessment because things are not happening right now. Which I guess is not a bad thing. Or is it?

I love Oscar Wilde. The way he writes, the way he thinks, pretty much the way he is transmitted through the words he put down on paper and is perceived by my mind. I love.

During my trip to Ireland, what did I discover but that Wilde is an IRISH man and not the great Great Britain that for some reason seems to be a common idea in many peoples' minds.

I finished his one and only published novel "The Picture of Dorian Gray" and boy did that become a kind of horror story really fast! Knock another one off the Ultimate Reading List finally!

The first time I even had notion of Dorian Gray as a story/book/literary work was in 2003 when the name of Sean Connery drew me to the movie "The League of Extraordinary Gentleman." Remember that one?

The first time I realized it's "extra-ordinary" which actually completely makes sense. *facepalm*

And watch this film I did- twice. Cuz there's always something about superhero movies that draws you back despite it being extracheezy or extraunbelievable or extracampy or extraridiculous... i guess that "extra" rule doesn't quite work in all situations eh?

BUT LOOK AT THIS FACE!!
"hummuna hummuna hummuna guffaw guffaw guffaw"

Oh and... wait, what was I saying? Right, so you'll see that Dorian Gray is one of the League though he is not actually part of the original extraplain group. Observe:

see? nowhere to be found. like the invisible man... har har

The remake saw fit to add new characters and make the league a SUPER league!! Because..... well.... Amerka!!!!!~~

Though captions are not my own, I felt them highly relevant.
Dorian Gray would be second from the left.

close up! see how handsome he is?? and will be.. FOREVER.......

Anyway sometime during the movie the quirk of Wilde's novel is discussed as Gray very obviously travels where he goes with constant concern over the safety of his portrait. This was completely new to my 14 year old mind and I was fascinated with the idea that Gray's youth and energy comes from the safe keeping of his picture and that wound to the picture is wound to his body... is that not an AMAZING thought!? Ok, if I'm being honest it still dazzles my mind.

Of course being the spritely eager youngster (that I am sadly no longer) I googled the shit out of this man called Dorian Gray after watching the movie. Maybe during the movie, I don't remember. I needed to know: Who thought of this idea? Which comic mogul featured him: DC? Marvel? fuck, I dunno- Nickelodeon?? What does the cartoon version of him look like? How old is this story that I've heard of Jekyll and Hyde but not Dorian Gray? The physical embodiment of Beauty as Dorian Gray was new to me in every sense of the meaning.

But to those less ignorant than I am, the name of another beautiful and immortal man would come to mind immediately at the mention of Dorian Gray... and that is of course the name of Oscar Wilde. I fell in love with him for his name, fell out of love with him for his not very manly looks (i was much more shallow ~~a year ago~~ back then), and then back in love with him through the college study of "The Importance of Being Earnest." Now, I'm a little bit frightened and ever more in awe of him after my reading of Dorian Gray.

On a literary forum that I was perusing, I saw a thread started by the question "Oscar Wilde: overrated?" and immediately I thought to myself and very pointedly at the post- I HATE YOU, YOU'RE AN IDIOT FOR ASKING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!! and then obviously I clicked on the link to see what everyone from the cyberweb had replied. Fortunately, there was only one idiot (OP) and all of the responses were the same as my initial reaction in varying degrees of politeness and filtering. Having been justified by complete agreement from the rest of the literate universe, I saved the severe tongue-lashing I had loaded in my fingers and let OP live another day.

Wilde stopped writing far too soon and selfishly deprived the world of some serious thoughts on aesthetics and human nature. If anything he is completely UNDERrated and it is the loss of thinking minds that he is so.

During one of my five million connecting flights on the way to Ireland, I had cause (aka shoddy ass access to international wifi after being cut off from the world) to download a collection of Wilde's children's stories called "The Happy Prince." I started crying on the plane and sniffling quietly like I was watching a sequel of The Notebook. I grew up around peers who seemed to have none of the moral values or conscientiousness that were forced on me by immigrant parents who had lived most of life in a much more disciplined country than America. So imagine my surprise when the same kind of cynical eye-rolling thoughts I have had on numerous occasions throughout my short-lived life were subtly and craftily expressed in these seemingly innocuous stories. It's clear what Wilde thought of his generation and how that would affect the one coming right behind. For his judgment and his attempt to address the issue while the buds are only yet forming, I respect Wilde in a way I find it difficult to do for those who just sit and write "letters to the editor" expecting things to be fixed and all better now that they've said their piece.

But of course those people are not Oscar Wilde. In any age it is difficult to find a mind that is able to think such pure thoughts and still account for all of the sinning that revolve ever around them.

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight,

and his punishment is that he sees the dawn

before the rest of the world."

- Oscar Wilde

Boy that Irish bread and butter is good.

My brother is leaving tomorrow and though there was an EXCELLENT going away party to send him off, I will say I am completely (secretly) devastated that he's actually going.

Who's going to beat Mori up to show him he's not the only giant creature under our roof?

Who's going to tell me I'm doing everything wrong at the gym?

Who's going to talk shit with me in korean right in front of the person and giggle embarrassingly loud?

Gah!! needless to say there was a fantastic toast given at the party by (yours truly (which i find is very easy for me to do when it concerns my brother though i could not imagine giving a toast for anybody else with such sweet eloquence)) but also, on the side so that only a few trusted girlfriends could see and effectively shield me, there was a mini melt down of emotions and eye liner early on in the night. Then everything else is a drunken haze... for pretty much all 35 people at the table.

Too bad i only have one brother... could really use another one now that this fool's leaving :/

giant arms and teeeeeny legs!!

Mori is NOT amused.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

my favorite brother :)

So about a month? three weeks? ago i bought a box of little cute snack sized pears. By a box, i don't mean boxes that may or may not be offered in grocery stores (do they sell pears by the box in grocery stores? I'm so out of touch with produce actually sold in stores because now that i'm a super apple/pear snob at this job of mine.... hehehee) but the box that i speak of is a wholesale sized box of pears. yeah. 158 pears nicely wrapped and packed in a pretty little case ready to be added to 48 other little cases stacked together on a perfect little pallet ready to be shipped on a semi truck with 19 other pallets full of the same cute little pears.

yup. i have 158 of these suckers to eat however i can. When they were less than ripe they were perfect for the juicing- oh my. delicious! a little tangy and a bit too tart with granny apples but a nice balance of acidity with beets and celery. yumm.

fast forward three weeks later. They're ripe now. Oh how they're ripe. they're almost to the mushy point. So juicy, so many pears, so little- no- NO time!!! i'm handing these babies to my little dog like it's christmas every day. the greedy sucker thinks the treats will end so he keeps hiding them and then i have to find them and toss them before they rot!! argggghh!!!

My mom and i eat like 7 pears a day.

ok, that's a lie. my MOM eats 7 a day. i look at 7 and guiltily don't eat any. Why?

I'm not all that partial to pears.

True story.

So why did i buy a case of these bastards?

Meh- i was getting super hyped about the juicing :) and they're super cute. fits right into the palm of my teeny little hand teeheheheee..

After giving about 25 of them to a friend, and another 25 to another friend, and consuming about 40 in the last week and tossing a few of the bruised and rotted ones, we're down to about 40. My remedy is to just smoothie and salad the CRAP out of these guys..

Just found a recipe for an oats and pear smoothie. sounds DELICIOUS.

ingredients
ripe pears
milk
6 oz yogurt
1/4 cup oats
5-7 ice cubes
ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
pinch of salt

directions
blend all the shiz together until smooth.

I'm thinking breakfast tomorrow instead of my juice. in fact, i'm thinking breakfast every day until i get rid of these damn pears. I'll be using raw milk and probably subbing ice cubes for frozen bananas and leaving out the yogurt for a little bit more milk.

For dinner? That's right!! pear mixed with some pear, garnished with slivered pears and topped with a healthy dose of pear!! wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

No dinner is more like kale salad with pear, cranberries, Gorgonzola and some white wine vinaigrette and a side of roasted brussel sprouts and pears. Chicken will have to be involved as my brother is going to be involved :) I'll work it out... lots of pears!!

I'm thinking maybe a pear and Gorgonzola pizza for tomorrow night. prep the pizza dough tonight as there is no gym with this month long flu. blech. so over it already.

So i've been sick for 25 days now. did i mention? did you know? did i post about it? probably not- it's become such a part of my life now {sob sob sob}

ok crying like a wretch aside, i got sick on new year's eve. on the job, through the job, and now the suffering continues after the job. ugh.

people at my day job look at me like i'm the embodiment of the modern boob plague. you know which one i mean. the really bad one. i'm like no no!! i'm not contagious!! the doctor says i'm contained.... -said the first official victim.

don't freak out.

I really only have bronchitis and rhinitis.. NOW. i had something else before that. and probably something else that started it all. my friendly doctor says nothing really lasts this long. usually it's just a series of different viruses that attack in sequence once the system is down. these fuckers are hacking into my body while the IT guys are performing an upgrade.

fuckers indeed.

fuckers.

this word and its frequent usage in relation to these little body snatchers makes me... feel better somehow.

fuckers.

anyhow there is always a silver lining to everything, yes? in this case it is VERY pale, flesh colored lining. let me explain. Around the time i became sick, my skin started FREAKING out.... slowly.

imagine- slowly freaking out... like an escalating panic attack. manifesting itself as TEENY FUCKING BUMPS ON MY FOREHEAD. al;djal;djf;qaweoipruasdf

and no amount of lotion was helping. because after 24 years i've now figured out that such is the way my skin responds when it needs more moisture. teeny bumps. creating an incoherent essay in braille on my forehead. i know- gross. one more crack: if a blind person were to read my forehead they would tell me it's screaming in CAPS lock "HYDRATE ME MOTHER FUCKER!!" and the hilarity in the situation is that i can't read braille... so i wouldn't even be able to help myself screaming for help... HAHAHahahahaa........{bitter chuckle dying out...}

{sigh}

ok so how do these two afflictions relate? WELL ISN'T IT OBVIOUS???

now that i'm sick with dry brittle lungs (wheezing), inflamed in all airways (throat and nose), and mucus (thick coating everywhere), i'm doing EVERYTHING to flush everything out- i.e. drinking an OBSCENE amount of hot water, laced with honey, lemons, juiced garlic, ginger, and pretty much a produce aisle's worth of veggies and fruits via my juicer.

and guess what?!

still have dry brittle lungs, inflamed airways, and mucus.

BUT my skin is looking FABULOUS! i'm pretty sure once my skin is done soaking up all the excess hydration after whatever my body needs to stay alive.. the rest of my body will be able to divert a lot of all this goodness to the ailment in question.

because apparently my body's priorities are in line with my mind's priorities which is:

who cares if you're hacking up blood as long as you look beautiful when you do it. right? RIGHT? who's with me here....?

ugh, fuck you, body.

Let's just make it to 25..

I'm sorry.

Sun Tzu

travel bug

Flalad...

Money Woes

genocide and a shitty mass grave

Some things and some other things

Sexy like Brew-lesque

oh, hello kittehhh!

So.................

What is it about Canadia?

Rone-ree...

On the Grounds of Coffee

Special Occasions and Robots

Irish Seafood Chowder

My dearest Soojangles,

You and your Wilde words...

Bread and Butter

Leaving... on a jet plane!

Rotting Pears~

bronchitis? yes, i'll take some great skin~!

So..

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