Shit. I think I have worms
If you know me in real life, you've probably heard me talk about poop. I talk about poop regularly. Probably because it is a mystery to me as I don't do it.... {crickets chirping} Now is the time to stop reading this post if solid waste is a sensitive subject for you.You've been warned.
But seriously, this is not a secret topic in my household and has always been a very open discussion between family members. It's a way to figure out what may be wrong with you before taking excessive and (often times) unnecessary medications. It is a way to know how your diet is affecting you. It's how my mom and dad knew to be concerned or not to worry about every little stomach ache I complained about when I was growing up. I've never understood all the secrecy and the disgust...
Don't get me wrong. It's not like i want my significant other to come into the bathroom and inspect my poop with me. But it's a very important issue for me and it has been weighing on my mind increasingly so in that past couple of weeks.
Not my poop.
My dog's poop.
When I brought Mori home over a year and a half ago I made his poop my number one source of information on the status of my romping baby. I looked through that crap (heh heh) like parents surf through their kids' cell phones. Gotta know if something murky's going on. Every day it was "ooooo what a good boy! that is an excellent poop today!! {pat pat pat} {Mo looking adoringly (and confusedly) at his strange two legged momma poking a potting trowel at his greatest creation of the morning}"
With extensive (read: too much) research I got the typical "new mom" scare about germs, parasites, and worms... well maybe that's more of a new dog mom scare. every lunch and after work routine found me hunched over in the yard breaking apart clumps of poop trying to see if what i'm seeing is a squiggly worm out to destroy my Mo or a harmless group of bacteria valiantly decomposing the re-fashioned nugget of my paycheck.
Once he got all of his shots and once I verified that as a SOOPER smart doggy, Mo does not like to eat his own poop, i stopped sticking my face questionably close to his steaming piles and adopted to more natural routine of just picking it up and creating nice big bags of poo. Thankfully i stopped right around the time that Mori hit the 40lb mark and the piles started becoming a formidable cluster of landmines after a few days of laziness on my part (don't even get me started on what happened when all the snow melted this spring).
Now, I only inspect when I suspect there is something wrong. Like when the summer heat began this year and I started noticing that this massive creature lurking in my home was only eating half or less of his meals- sometimes leaving dinner to become the next day's breakfast. Concern knotted my brows and the poop trowel came back out. Luckily it was just the heat and not an illness. Just had an annual and the Vet says he's stellar~ yayyyyyy!!
But the topic of this post has only half been covered. the shitty part.
what about the worms?? I thought the vet said he was stellar!
Well obviously he doesn't have the parasitic worms. what kind of horrible inspection job would I be doing if i didn't know he had worms immediately!?
I'm talking about magical worms.
Poop eating worms.
Baby i'm talking about vermiculture!!!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
My latest creation is going to defy the question that weighs in on every dog owner's mind- WHAT DO YOU DO WITH SO MUCH POOP!!
some days i look at Mo's sweet face and see nothing but a poop generating black hole! there is only slightly less love for him those days but seriously. it's never ENDING.
And then.
oh, and THEN.
i read about how throwing away dog poop is literally going to destroy the world because of how the plastic bags used to toss them inhibits the natural decomposing process. THEN i read about how some fresh water areas have shut down due to becoming toxic after too much poop was put into the sewage system that does not properly break down all of the possible bacteria found in dog poop. Gahhhhhh!!
some days i look at Mo's sweet face and see nothing but a poop generating black hole! there is only slightly less love for him those days but seriously. it's never ENDING.
And then.
oh, and THEN.
i read about how throwing away dog poop is literally going to destroy the world because of how the plastic bags used to toss them inhibits the natural decomposing process. THEN i read about how some fresh water areas have shut down due to becoming toxic after too much poop was put into the sewage system that does not properly break down all of the possible bacteria found in dog poop. Gahhhhhh!!
So i'm currently in the process of building my own worm composting system and once i let my accrued dog poop start cooking, i'll order me some worms and throw them in the steaming pile of shit.
yes.
What would be a torture method for most creatures on this earth will be a candy mountain for these precious wrigglers.
be grossed out! see if i care!!
Earth will thank me. and so will you when you finally hear about how fresh water is even more scarce from dog poop pollution. once ALL of the plastic bags finally decompose in about 200 years and release the unimaginable quantities of dog poop that was picked up all around the world and casually thrown out with trash, the fermented shit full of disease and whatever that would have been eaten away and processed by natural microbes, will just trickle into the lakes and rivers with the next fall of rain and we'll all be dead. from super e.coli or some other terrifying shit defying bacteria like that.
And all of that will still happen because it's already under way. but i'm going to make sure MY darling 85 lb mutt's butt waste will only make it as far as becoming a feast for worms and then in its second life, a feast for my flowers.
yes.
What would be a torture method for most creatures on this earth will be a candy mountain for these precious wrigglers.
be grossed out! see if i care!!
Earth will thank me. and so will you when you finally hear about how fresh water is even more scarce from dog poop pollution. once ALL of the plastic bags finally decompose in about 200 years and release the unimaginable quantities of dog poop that was picked up all around the world and casually thrown out with trash, the fermented shit full of disease and whatever that would have been eaten away and processed by natural microbes, will just trickle into the lakes and rivers with the next fall of rain and we'll all be dead. from super e.coli or some other terrifying shit defying bacteria like that.
And all of that will still happen because it's already under way. but i'm going to make sure MY darling 85 lb mutt's butt waste will only make it as far as becoming a feast for worms and then in its second life, a feast for my flowers.
You're welcome.
