Happiness #25 : New wins
Playing basketball with my brother today reminded me of years ago when he would drag me out at all hours to get his rebounds despite my cries of "I don't wannaaaaa!" I'm so happy for two different things today.One, that I am able to be that friend/playmate/little brother to my brother that he was so impatient for when we were little that he would try to wrestle me at less than two years old, propping me to get me into the right position for a move; keep me up at all hours of the night so that he could play video games in the dark with someone else and not be alone, calling me his lucky charm; trying to teach me how to shoot a ball properly all the while ignoring my grimaces and complaints. I regret that I couldn't just be more enthusiastic and call him out to play ball- instead I can still recall his dejected face as he finally gave up trying to keep me out there with him- "Alright, five more shots and we'll go in, k? Just five more, I'm kinda tired anyway."
I'm also very happy to see that I am starting to truly let go of my inhibitions about my weaknesses. Never have I ever been athletic or very well coordinated and in the past, these factors affected me to the point of not even trying very hard. I would put in as much effort as it took to appear as if I am making an attempt but it was never my all and my heart was never in it. Today I was in it to win it. A stupid game of HORSE, a silly game of two on two with rules bent every which way to put me and the other noobie at every possible advantage, and I made sure I never came out last. While it wasn't my best because of the heat, I definitely defended my six foot counterpart with the best of my ability trying to yank that sucker out of his hands at any opportunity. Who cares what I look like when I walk away as one half of the winning team, right? :)
4 comments
Write commentsI was "in it to win it" once. A five year old ended up on the gravel. Winning is overrated.
Reply@Anon: I am so sorry if my entry brought to mind some discouraging events in your past. Perhaps if I clarified the perspective a bit? You're absolutely right- winning definitely can be overrated, especially if the "winning" part overrides the "effort" part. I guess you could think of it as me being the five year old who always stood off to the side afraid to be knocked down, and the other day I went in because I realized that being knocked down is alright if I just put in the effort to play the game, and it's doubly awesome if I come out winning! Plus, don't I get a bit of credit for having to guard an opponent with at least 10 inches on me? :) Regardless, thank you for reading, and especially thank you for sharing!
ReplySorry that you misunderstood. I shoved a 5 year old on the ground. A win's a win, but I felt kind of bad. Not on purpose.
Reply@Anon: Well shoving is a little mean but hey, at least now the little kid knows, don't play the game if he's not ready for the heat.... ok well that's kind of mean too because he is, after all, only five and barely old enough to wipe his own butt. :( hahaha but good news for you! feeling kind of bad not on purpose is a sign that you have a decent soul! even if it is the same one that shoved the kid in the first place.... remorse = soul. excellent, no?
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