bronchitis? yes, i'll take some great skin~!

So i've been sick for 25 days now. did i mention? did you know? did i post about it? probably not- it's become such a part of my life now {sob sob sob}

ok crying like a wretch aside, i got sick on new year's eve. on the job, through the job, and now the suffering continues after the job. ugh.

people at my day job look at me like i'm the embodiment of the modern boob plague. you know which one i mean. the really bad one.  i'm like no no!! i'm not contagious!! the doctor says i'm contained.... -said the first official victim.

don't freak out.

I really only have bronchitis and rhinitis.. NOW. i had something else before that. and probably something else that started it all. my friendly doctor says nothing really lasts this long. usually it's just a series of different viruses that attack in sequence once the system is down. these fuckers are hacking into my body while the IT guys are performing an upgrade.

fuckers indeed.

fuckers.

this word and its frequent usage in relation to these little body snatchers makes me... feel better somehow.

fuckers.

anyhow there is always a silver lining to everything, yes? in this case it is VERY pale, flesh colored lining. let me explain. Around the time i became sick, my skin started FREAKING out.... slowly.

imagine- slowly freaking out... like an escalating panic attack. manifesting itself as TEENY FUCKING BUMPS ON MY FOREHEAD. al;djal;djf;qaweoipruasdf

and no amount of lotion was helping. because after 24 years i've now figured out that such is the way my skin responds when it needs more moisture. teeny bumps. creating an incoherent essay in braille on my forehead. i know- gross. one more crack: if a blind person were to read my forehead they would tell me it's screaming in CAPS lock "HYDRATE ME MOTHER FUCKER!!" and the hilarity in the situation is that i can't read braille... so i wouldn't even be able to help myself screaming for help... HAHAHahahahaa........{bitter chuckle dying out...}

{sigh}

ok so how do these two afflictions relate? WELL ISN'T IT OBVIOUS???

now that i'm sick with dry brittle lungs (wheezing), inflamed in all airways (throat and nose), and mucus (thick coating everywhere), i'm doing EVERYTHING to flush everything out- i.e. drinking an OBSCENE amount of hot water, laced with honey, lemons, juiced garlic, ginger, and pretty much a produce aisle's worth of veggies and fruits via my juicer.

and guess what?!

still have dry brittle lungs, inflamed airways, and mucus.

BUT my skin is looking FABULOUS! i'm pretty sure once my skin is done soaking up all the excess hydration after whatever my body needs to stay alive.. the rest of my body will be able to divert a lot of all this goodness to the ailment in question.

because apparently my body's priorities are in line with my mind's priorities which is:

who cares if you're hacking up blood as long as you look beautiful when you do it. right? RIGHT? who's with me here....?

ugh, fuck you, body.