Potty Training

Taking a snow day from life, I have settled into our lovingly worn couch with the clicker in my hand and daytime tv on to tube. Now, I haven't had much time to hang out at home watching tv in a fair amount of time so I wasn't aware there was a tv show devoted to educating Americans to stay healthy and clean. Have you seen it? It's called "The Doctors."  Observe how doctorly all of these actors look!


Of course we all know any combination of scrubs, white coats, and stethoscopes mean doctors!! My issue is not with the show. The show is completely ridiculous and the worst part about it is that American intelligence/education of the human condition and what sustains it has fallen so low that this show is actually a needed step in the right direction.

No, my issue is not that. Though it should be, no? My issue is that today, on my lovely day of freezing indoors, I was blessed with the episode about "toilet yoga" and the very informational tidbit that you can pass out from straining too hard going number Two. Yes, apparently there are enough people who pass out taking a shit that it is worthy of daytime television. It's crazy that CNN hasn't picked up on this! Pshaw to journalism and the news! Thank goodness for "The Doctors!"

This is the kind of thing we spend our time sitting (or in my case, laying) on the couch watching when there are still places on this earth where people shit into holes in the ground. Maybe I'm assuming too much but I doubt they ever pass out from straining to get their nasty microwaved processed food out of their butt behind their hut as they shit into the ground.

EAT SOME FUCKING VEGETABLES, AMERICA!

What are we even talking about? I don't even know.